Posted by dinko on Aug 8, '08 10:59 AM for everyone
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."
"What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
Husband #4 was in Telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, He didn't know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an Engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art
Husband #6 was from Finance and Administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in Marketing; although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychiatrist; all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector; all he ever did was ... God, I miss him!
But now that I've married you, I'm so excited!"
"Good," said the husband, "but, why?"
"You're a SAP consultant. This time I KNOW I'm going to get fucked!"
Posted by dinko on May 22, '08 2:42 AM for everyone
Бях я чувал и преди. Но тази сутрин се влюбих в нея :-) Това е моята песен за днес!
She's Madonna (R. Williams)
Oh, Madonna, Madonna
I don't miss you Just who You used to be And you don't ring true So please Stop calling me Your "I love you"'s Are ten a penny You're dropping clues Like you've got any You got to choose There's been so many ohhhh
I love you baby But face it she's Madonna No man on earth Could say that he don't want her This look of love Says I'm leaving You're frozen now I've done the freezing I'm walking out Madonna's calling me
She's got to be Obscene to be believed That's her routine Not what she means to me I found myself By circumstance Across a room Where people dance And quite by chance She' danced right next TO me
I love you baby But face it she's Madonna No man on earth Would say that he don't want her It's me not you I've got to move on You're younger too But she's got her groove on I'm sorry love Madonna's calling me
Oh, Madonna, Madonna
I want to tell you a secret
We're having drinks With Kate and Stella Gwyneth's here She's brought her fella But all I wanna do Is take Madonna home
I love you baby But face it she's Madonna No man on earth Would say that he don't want her It's me not you I've got to move on You're younger too But she's got her groove on I'm sorry love Madonna's calling me
